i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
