Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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