I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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