no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
