I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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