Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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