I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
