It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
