I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
