No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
