Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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