I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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