I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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