My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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