you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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