**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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