Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
