I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
