This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
