i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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