No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
