Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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