come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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