absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
