Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
