So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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