We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i out mim tonsoeep
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