I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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