And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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