It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
