Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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