yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
