Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize