I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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