It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Such a big mess for such a small penis
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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