Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
In America we eat man semen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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