if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
two words: eviction party
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
