isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
