I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
