we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize