I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my being single is dangerous.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
