when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
