The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
