At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
