she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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