Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
