I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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