Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
