its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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