HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
