Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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