there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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