Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
