I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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