After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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