I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize