Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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