you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So squirting runs in the family.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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