just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
