Me. At least after what I've been through.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
