i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your cock deserves a montage
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
