Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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