Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
