I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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