can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize