Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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