no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
