I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
