You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
