I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
