All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
