Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
