Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
