You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize