But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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