i was rollin on her like bob the builder
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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