organizing the empties. That sober.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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