Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
