just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
