I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
