I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
