i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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