Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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