just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
