somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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